Rat Race Harry Potter Style
by Steph-hime
Summary: Based on the Film 'Rat Race'. Chapter 2 now up.
1. Chapter the First

"Why do we have to come to some cheap hotel for our senior trip?" Draco complained to Pansy, who nodded in sympathy as the man behind the check-in table gave her the room key.  
The man turned to Draco, a sour expression on his face, "Here is your key _sir_."   
Draco eyed the man with distaste. "Hopefully it's nicer than it looks from the outside." Draco muttered.

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Lavender said to Pavati, as usual, the two were inseparable.   
"I've had good premonition's about this trip." Pavati said. "I read my tea leaves last night, and according to _Unfogging the future_ we're going to becoming into so money!" She explained.  
"That's wonderful Parvati, just think of all the make-up we could buy with that!" Lavender sighed, dragging her cases to the check in desk.

"I've always wanted to come to Los Angeles!" Hermione sighed taking in the sights around her.  
"I know, you told me several times on the plane, before reading all those books." Ron said, becoming angry. He didn't like to be ignored by his girlfriend, especially so obviously in front of his friends.  
"If you didn't want me to read then why didn't you say? I would have been happy to play a game with you." Hermione insisted.  
"Hermione, we were on an aeroplane, Wizards chess and exploding snap would have scared the muggles." Ron explained.  
"There are other games you know." Hermione muttered.

"Wow..." Harry whistled as he stepped into the room. It was luxurious, perhaps even nicer than the Head Boys room he occupied. There were two beds, both single at opposite ends of the room. "I hope I don't have to share with Malfoy!"   
Just then, the doorknob rattled and a head of sandy coloured hair appeared.  
"Harry! Looks as if we're room mates again!"  
Harry's eyes widened. "Hi Neville."  
Neville pushed past Harry towards the bed nearest the window, which had a small table by it. Lovingly he placed the _Mimbulus mimbletonia_[1] plant on the work top before pulling his case onto his bed. "This is going to be so much fun!"

George flopped on down on his bed. "Hey Fred, don't put your smelly shoes on my bed!" he said, fishing the shoes from underneath him.  
"Since you're closet, will you put my shoes in the closet?" Fred's voice called from the bathroom.  
"I'm not touching those!" George said in protest.  
"Watch out! If I see them too much, it'll remind me to put them on your head when you're snoring tonight!" Fred threatened.  
"You do and you'll find yourself subjected to yellow hair!" George retorted.  
"Ah, ah, ah." Fred said, shaking his head as he walked from out of the bathroom, "no magic in front of the muggles. We're meant to be setting a good example to the kiddies."

Severus Snape sighed as he sat at the bar. Sure it was muggle alcohol, which was about as intoxicating as butterbeer, but he had a feeling that once he had drank 10 shots of vodka the pain of having to supervise children would wear off.  
"Attention all, will the people with the room numbers 21, 46, 12, 6, 81 and 69 please report to the Ru Av Natten [2] conference room."  
Snape sighed and stood. Why did he have to have room number 69? [3]

A few minutes later, Snape opened the conference room door and stepped inside. Everyone else was there already.  
"We were waiting for you." A man told him. It was definitely the same insane voice they had heard on the intercom.  
Snape glared, closing the door. He didn't take a seat, instead he leaned against a pillar.  
"As I was saying, this is a race. In Texas, there is a train station called 'The Big One' [4]. In this train station, there are lockers. In one of these lockers, there is a red duffel bag and inside the red duffel bag, there is two million dollars." he finished. The man waited a bit to let his message sink in. "You are partnered by room, go!"  
Everyone stared blankly at the man. "Well, go!" he urged. No one moved. "Look, right now Mr. Snape is winning, because he is nearest to the door!"  
"How do you know my name?" Snape asked, in the usual drawling voice. The man ignored him.  
"How are we supposed to get anywhere? We can't drive or anything, let alone afford a plane or train ticket!" Neville pointed out.  
"Some of you might not be able to afford, but I certainly can." Malfoy snapped.  
"Not only is it totally crazy, but we would miss our senior trip!" Pansy added.  
"Oh, Parvati, it's your prediction!" Lavender sighed dreamily.  
"Who would give away two million dollars anyway?" Hermione asked.  
"I would. Think about it. This is two million we're talking about. Two million dollars. You could do anything, anything at all."  
"Think about it, 2 million dollars, think how many galleon's that is!" Ron said excitedly.  
"Wait!" Fred said. "We could get lost or killed! We could-"  
"Fred, what's happened to you?" George said melodramatically, shaking Fred by the shoulders.  
"Oh, yeah. Then what are we waiting for?" Fred asked. He grabbed his twins hand and pulled him towards the door.  
"This is ridiculous." Hermione said aloud.  
"Just come on!" Ron said, pulling her to her feet.  
"It's fate!" Lavender cooed.  
"Come on then Lavender!" Parvati said, linking arms with her best friend.  
"Ahhhh! I'm getting trampled!" Neville called. Harry grinned and lent him a hand.  
"Let's go!" he said.  
Pansy stood up, "Umm, we're behind." she said to Draco.  
"Why do I get stuck with you?" Draco asked, as Pansy pulled him towards the exit.  
"Aren't you going Mr Snape." The man asked.  
"First of all, it's Professor Snape, secondly, this is the biggest pile of bull I have ever heard!" Snape said coolly, leaving the room.  
"Which one of you will get there first? Good luck to all of you." The strange man said. People behind a one-sided mirror started to chat.  
"My bet is on the twins-"  
"Mine is on the Professor-"  
  


[1] One of the spawns that the original created, hense the reason he could get it through customs.  
[2] Friend from LJ, had to get her in a Snape scene somehow.  
[3] * snerk* Snape had to have room 69 *cackles insanely *  
[4] Doubt this.


	2. Chapter the Second

Rat race - Chapter two, The race is underway.

~#~

"We'll take this." Ron said as he sat in an old, beat-up truck. He bent down and started looking at the wires inside.  
"You know how to hotwire a car!?" Hermione asked in amazement. She looked around. They had gone to the airport to find a car and to see if anyone was taking a plane.  
"No, not really. But how hard can it be?" Ron asked. Hermione groaned. She knew Ron well enough to know that she should get out of the car.  
"This one? Maybe this one? Hmm..." Ron mumbled. He brought two wires close together and examined them.  
"Hey Ron, I bet it's out of petrol anyway." Hermione said, leaning forward. Her arm hit the shift stick, changing the shift to backwards.  
"There! I think that's it!" Ron said triumphantly. He held the two wires together and took a breath. "GYAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" he shouted. Static ran through his hair and his clothes. When he finally stopped screaming, he noticed something. The car was moving the wrong way.  
"What happened?" he asked, turning around. They were headed towards the fuel farm.  
"Well, if it's out of petrol, there's plenty right there!" Hermione screamed. Ron looked at her a minute. He didn't see the danger. "Things explode if they hit a lot of fuel!" she explained.  
"WHAT TO DO YOU MEAN THEY EXPLODE?" he shouted. The truck was surprisingly fast, and they were only a few feet away from the fuel farm.  
"Explode, as in, go boom!" Hermione said, panicked out of her wits. She grabbed the door, but it was stuck. "Ron, how hard did you slam the door!?" she demanded. "And why did I get back in the stupid car?"  
Ron climbed into the back of the truck and found a rope attached to a hook. He threw it out of the opened window and around a tall, thick tree. The truck stopped moving. He sighed with relief and climbed out the window, immediately followed buy his girlfriend.  
"Where did you get that rope?" she asked. Ron shrugged.  
"Found it in the back." He said, patting himself on the back. A loud creaking noise brought his attention back to the truck. The rope snapped in two, and the truck headed towards the fuel again. "RUN!" he said to Hermione. But she was already going.  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Ron shouted as he jumped, pulling Hermione down as well. BOOM!  
All kinds of noises sounded as the fuel farm exploded. Hermione and Ron got up, shook off the dust, and ran as fast as they could.  
"We could be expelled for this!" Hermione shouted.

"All flights have been cancelled. We are having technical difficulties concerning the fuel farm." a voice said throughout the airport. Groans sounded everywhere.  
"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU!" Pansy said, smashing the sun hat she had brought. "COME ON, DRACO!" she added, grabbing his arm.  
"Why me?" he asked weakly as Pansy steered him to the exit.  
Pansy pointed to a car. "We're taking this, and you're driving." she said, buckling herself in the passenger seat.   
"When did I learn to drive?" Draco asked, before he was silenced with a 'do it or die' look. Draco groaned and grabbed the steering wheel. "How do we start it?"  
"Like this!" Pansy said, grabbing the two correct wires and starting the car. Draco looked at her in amazement and started the car.

"He said we have to get to a train station, right?" Parvati asked.  
"Yeah..." Lavender said as she examined a map.  
"Then why not take a train directly there?"  
"Because I can drive."  
"Do you really feel like driving all the way to Texas?"  
"...Let's go." Lavender said, realizing that Parvati had a point.

"STOP!" Pansy yelled after a while. She pointed to a train station. "Look. Let's make sure no one takes it today." she said, pulling her wand from her belt.  
"What the...!?" Draco asked himself as he got out of the car, thinking that it was better not to question her judgement.  
"COME ON!" Pansy said, laughing like a maniac. She bent down besides the track and muttered a couple of well chosen words. "The first train that comes," she explained, "will of off the rails, so no one participating in the race would've been able to buy a ticket to the first train today. It's perfect!"  
"The sorting hat did make the right decision then." Draco muttered to himself, before he and Pansy resumed their journey.

"Due to technical difficulties, no trains will be running today." a voice called through the station.  
"Now what?" Parvati asked Lavender.  
"Hey, I didn't plan this or anything! I didn't even see it in my tea leaves!" Lavender responded. "What are you doing?"  
"Checking out our options." Parvati said, watching the news flash. "That's weird, the airport's closed..." she mumbled. Lavender looked out the window and immediately started to drool.  
"Chocolate ice cream!" she cried. An ice cream truck was right outside. "Hey Parvie, I have an idea..."

"Now what?" Hermione asked. They had ran all the way to a harbor.  
"Let's swim to Texas." Ron laughed. He pointed to the water.  
"No, I have a better idea..." Hermione said. Soon they were in line for a ferry.  
"I wonder if I get sea sick?" Ron asked.  
"Does it matter?" Hermione responded. Ron sighed.  
"Guess not, huh..."  
Soon they had paid with the muggle money that Hermione carried with her (for emergencies), and were enjoying the sea wind blowing on them.  
"We'll get there in no time!" Ron said. [1]

"How do you turn the music off? I'm sick of hearing 'The Fast Food Song' [2]!" Lavender complained.  
"Well...if I turn this..." Parvati said. The music stopped.  
"Ahhh..." Lavender said, sighing in relief. She heard something.  
"Wait! I want ice cream!" a little girl called.  
"Here!" Lavender said, thrusting one into her hands. She didn't have time to deal with money. "Come one, step on it Parvie!" Lavender said. "We don't need to deal with anymore half-pints."

Pansy pulled out her compact and put on pink lipstick. 'I'm going to have every shade of pink ever imaginable! Just wait!' She thought as she rubbed her lips together.  
Draco stared at her, just how did she get so demonic so fast? 

Pictures of the teams flashed across a gargantuan screen. Rich and important looking people sat before it, holding wads of money and papers with their bets.  
"Ahh, I am going to win the bet!" said a man who had put money on Ron and Hermione.  
"No, I am!" said the one who had bet on Lavender and Parvati. "And I'll get an ice cream, too."  
"Tch! You know that babe with the hat is gonna win!" another man protested. As they argued and joked, the man who had started it all stood in the shadows.  
'I'm getting billions out of this one! This is my best one yet!' he told himself. He chuckled softly as the men increased their bets.  
  
~#~

[1] I don't know if there's a harbour in LA or not, it's better than all of the characters stealing cars.  
[2] The ice cream vans in Stoke do actually play The Fast Food Song so I decided to write it in.


End file.
